movita and 2.0 had just begun making plans for this year's face-off when they received the call to compete. 2.0 was a little alarmed. "But it's Thanksgiving! Aren't we supposed to do this at the end of the month? We haven't planned properly." movita explained the situation. "The Rutherfords have reproduced. This means everything is screwed up. That's why we should never have a baby."
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Pumpkins were purchased on the fly, and the competition began. 2.0 and movita were feeling pretty good about their under-planned pumpkin until 2.0 pointed out that the mouth kinda looked like it was spelling out "WOW." In fact, Rosie Beaucoup would later email: "This judge requires a closer shot of the O in WOW as the motifs are not highly visible in the current photos." This didn't bode well. The "O" was a gourd. A gourd with blood streaming down its head.The first vote rolled in from Mrs. Rutherford's mother. She voted for The Rutherford pumpkin. The second arrived from Mr. Rutherford's mother, and was another cast in favour of the cat.
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Then a pair of rogue votes arrived via Hagley:
Two votes from Toronto. H and her pumpkin expert friend L say Yay! to the cannibal pumpkin. While we admire the execution of the cat and the moon-like silhouette behind it, we feel a pumpkin eating a pumpkin is all kinds of awesome and the authentic expression on the little pumpkin's face all kinds of tragic.
Sadly, these votes did not count.
Then Rosie Beaucoup voted for movita's pumpkin - mostly because The Rutherford pumpkin was boring and because she made movita cry at Thanksgiving dinner.
Then Grasshopper weighed in. With a lot of extra information.
Hello all,
Hallowe’en is a very special time of the year for me, being a pagan and a blossoming diabetic. So I especially cherish the tradition of the “Jack O’ Lantern,” a masterful art form, transforming disgusting, barely-edible vegetables into beacons for curious children and warnings to demons/women. So, while I’m proud to see you again tackle pumpkins with knives and wits, you both fail on many levels.
PUMPKIN A (The cannibal): It was an idea, that much I’ll grant you. The notion of a pumpkin eating a sentient creature is alarming, so points for that, but the edible creature feels like a tack-on, bearing no details or even affecting the creature that’s supposed be eating it. This could have been rectified by having the mouth of the cannibal stretched higher, with the eyes and nose tilted back, giving a more distorted presentation. The eyebrows are another sad mistake. Basic chunks, haphazardly and uncreatively chopped out of the pumpkin’s flesh when they could have been cut with much more flourish. Instead they’re simply angled rectangles. I want this pumpkin to be evil personified, but it’s just not happening. However, in its defence, it is clean and recognizable. Which children do enjoy as they tend to have trouble with complex shapes and ideas.
PUMPKIN B (SCAREDY CAT): I must admit that I’ve never been a fan of “scene” jack o’ lanterns. They never take advantage of the fact that the roundness of a pumpkin is perfect for creating ghoulish heads. But, I won’t dock points for this personal bias. However, I will dock you for the moon backdrop. If you realize that the shape of the pumpkin will harm your attempts at a round moon, the best thing to do is to shrink your overall image so the distortion is minimal. This moon looks like a botched pancake, friends. The cat is relatively well-done, with fine features that are hard to pull off, but I confess to being confused as to the whereabouts of its second back leg. Mistake during the carving stage? Lack of knowledge of catnatomy? Whatever the case, it’s distracting. Also, is the cat nimbly walking across a swimming pool? Is that where the moon is being reflected? The attempts at adding a sense of tone with the reflection works, however, so I can get past any logic problems I have with the scene.
MY VOTE: This is a hard, close contest and I am typing this while crying, knowing I’ll have to break the hearts of some fine, fine people or Rachael. I’m going to have to go with the scaredy cat, simply for the complexity of the shapes. Congratulations, all. I look forward to next year’s entries already and towards you all “stepping up your game,” as kids and sports announcers say.
Huh. It's like he's applying to teach at art school. Or veterinary college. However, he is our permanent judge for both Pumpkin Carve-Off and Ginger, so we appreciate the time it must take to put together such palaverous assessments. Plus, it's obvious that he kinda hated both entries. That's almost like liking movita more than The Rutherfords.
Then 2.0's mother cast her vote in favour of The Rutherfords. The final blow.
So, movita lost again. 4:1. But she's okay. Because she doesn't have baby crap all around her house and 2.0 doesn't mind that she ain't so good with pumpkins.
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One might even think it was the perfect fake-out for next year.
6 comments:
In a sense, everyone won.
The disenfranchised voters beg to differ.
Strictly speaking, I didn't make you cry at Thanksgiving dinner. I simply told you a sad story that made you cry. And you then proceeded to CRY AGAIN because you remembered how brave your litte brother was when he badly burnt his hand at a bonfire almost twenty-five years ago!
Oh, that's a good one! Disenfranchised L has an even better one that I won't spoil in case she puts it in a story some day, but let's just say it involves a little orphan with a halo of strawberry-blond curls sitting all by herself at a picnic table with a pumpkin and a knife that someone handed to her and then walked away without explaining how to carve a jack o'lantern and, aw crap, here come the waterworks...
Cårven Der Pümpkîn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0frEohsTJM
Me likey.
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